Schweitzer Falls

Schweitzer Falls is a scene wherein the boat approaches--and then curves away from--a waterfall.

Disneyland
Main article:  Disneyland's Jungle Cruise

[Text.]

Magic Kingdom
Main article:  Magic Kingdom's Jungle Cruise

The boat approaches a broad waterfall. A rock on the left side of the crest breaks its flow into two separate drops.

It crests from a promontory, which creates an overhang behind the face of the falls. This provides the Back Side of Water scene, which can be seen (and heard) from here, although the water obscures its sightlines.

The river forks at the Falls, but foliage on the port side blocks sightlines to the Mekong River. The boat pulls up close to the Falls, then banks to the right. It's close enough to spray the starboard side.

Disneyland
[Text.]

Magic Kingdom
The scene takes place on the Nile, after Crocodile Country, but before the Downed Airplane.

Disneyland
We're approaching beautiful Schweitzer Falls, named after the late doctor, Albert Schweitzer, who has done so much for the people of Africa.

These falls are--
 * [The skipper notices how quickly they're approaching the Falls.] Excuse me, folks.
 * [The skipper spins the wheel to avoid the Falls.]  You didn't think I was going to make it, did you?  Well, neither did I!

Approaching the Falls
C rocodiles are just one of the dangers of the jungle. You also have to look out for others, like monsoons and rapids and waterfalls.

This is Schweitzer Falls, named after that famous explorer: Dr. Albert Falls.

I've heard that more water comes over Schweitzer Falls in one minute than the average person drinks in a lifetime. I dunno about you, but I find that a little hard to swallow.

I know every inch of Schweitzer Falls, but don't worry; we'll go over it later!

Avoiding the Falls
Ahead is beautiful Schweitzer Falls, which--[The skipper pretends that the wheel is jammed.]--ermm...you may wanna lean in, back there. Lean in! [The skipper manages to jolt the wheel free just in time to turn.]

This could be a real bath. I dunno if we're gonna make it! You'd better lean in! Everybody, lean in!

[As the boat approaches the falls, the skipper indicates a specific guest in the back.] We're getting pretty close. Ermm. Excuse me, back there? Would you please grab the rudder? Grab the rudder! Turn it! That's it...great! You saved the boat! [The skipper indicates the rest of the audience.] Let's all give them a big round of applause! [The audience applauds.] Okay, that's enough. They weren't that good.

Recovering from the Falls
That was close! Thank goodness you all leaned in like that!

[The skipper indicates a specific guest.] You didn't move a muscle! You must've been paralyzed with fear, huh?

[If there wasn't much audience participation:] Thank goodness all three of you leaned like that. No doubt the others were too petrified to move.

Did you folks get wet back there? Like, really dripping, soaking wet? Here, just wait a second. [The skipper reverses the boat towards Schweitzer Falls, then stops.] I'm just kidding! I wouldn't do that to you folks...while you were looking. Besides, you'd find it much too shocking, because you're sitting on the battery. I know, a pretty revolting joke, right? It's the most current one I've got, and honestly, it has its positive and negative aspects.

If the Falls are Off
We're approaching a fork in the river, and this time, we're turning right. Last time, I turned left, and let's just say, it was not a pretty ending. It was gruesome. [The skipper steers the boat to the right.] ...or did I turn right last time, too?

We're approaching a fork in the river, and there's a strong current pulling the boat. I'd better not fight it, or we might run ashore! [The skipper steers the boat to the right.] Phew! That was close! The river has a mind of its own.

Jingle Cruise
Main article: Jingle Cruise

Up ahead is Mount Schweitzer, which features the only glacier in the tropics. It's--[The skipper notices that the glacier is now a waterfall.]--well, it's been a warm winter.

This is Schweitzer Falls, named after that famous explorer: Dr. Snow Falls. [Pause.] Well, that got a frosty response.

Ahead is beautiful Schweitzer Falls, which--[The skipper notices how quickly the boat is approaching the Falls.]--ermm...you may wanna lean in, back there. Lean in! [The skipper manages to turn just in time to turn.] Phew! That was a close one. I was worried I was gonna deck the Falls with folks I'm hauling!